This post comes from the heart.
Many people in the world, most
probably including you and myself, easily judge people by the way they act or
how they look or things they do. It may be that it annoys you, antagonises you
or you just don't like it. But you don't know their story. So I thought that,
maybe you guys could be judging me, you know my name, but you don't know my
story... why did I start this blog? Why do I hide away? Why are there hardly
any pictures of myself on here? Why am I self-conscious?
I am fed up of this. I thought why not
explain everything from the start. One of my goals this year was to be brave
and face up to some of my fears... So I’m going to do just that. I am
going to tell you who I am? Why I have a fear of certain people and just in
general a bit about me and the reason why I won't let bullies control my life
anymore.
My name is Abbie, however I was born
Abigail. My name on here... well I normally just sign off with a heart however
obviously by the URL my online name used to be absterhamster. This came from my
grandma because whenever I eat I stuff it into my checks (tmi I know sorry!)
and she always calls me her little hamster so that's where it came from! Yet
beginning of 2015 I felt like a needed a change. So my blog was re-designed and
I changed my username. This gave away slightly more about me... my name. I felt
ever so proud of myself because this was a big step for me, owning up to who I
really was online. Yet I still don't have the courage to post a photo directly
onto my blog.
I started to write my blog because I
felt like I could be truly honest with you guys. I feel like nobody is going to
judge me on the way I look, if I wear make-up how I do certain things. This is
the main reason I am self-conscious. My blog was, still is
even my place to escape. A place where I can be myself without anyone knowing
who I am. Being anonymous meant no-one could say anything to me at school or judges
me; I guess I just liked the feeling. When I started my blog I’d get a few
reads on each post, then as I wrote more and more it went up. Until now when
more people read each blog post than there is in my year group of 12 classes at
school, that number is unbelievable to me. This made me realise that if people
are enjoying my writing, why not make it more personal.
My main scare for sharing my identity
I touched on above. Bullies. I was bullied every day for around 3 years. That
is one of the hardest things I've ever typed. I was judged on my skin, how I
looked, and not wearing 'designer' clothes. You name it; it was probably said
towards me. Even though it has stopped, every now and then a few things will be
said to me, or I’ll get evil glances across the classroom. Yet I’ve now managed
to grow to ignore this. I don't want childish behaviour this year, I want an
education. I want to do well so that I can follow my dreams. I want to succeed
in life.
I feel like this blog post wouldn't
be complete without me telling you a little more about myself. Abigail Jessica
Turner. That is me... formally known as Abbie. I have brown eyes with brown hair.
Yes I’m boring looking! I go to the second largest school in the UK, and
have the most amazing best-friends in the world. I love cats especially my own!
Monty is a cross between a Tabby and a Manx; he is the fluffiest most adorable
little man in the world! Anyway back to me... I have 5 brothers in one way or
another, 2 half-brothers (5, 7), 2 Step-brothers (18, 15) and one 'normal'
brother who is 13! My parents clearly aren't together. They got divorced when
I was 6 but that doesn't matter right now.
I hope that you've enjoyed learning a
bit more about me and into my personal life... I guess I can’t end my blog
posts with a heart anymore...
"Don't let anyone stop you, from
doing the one thing you love"
-Abigail x
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